


Real Madrid On Facebook

by griners



Category: Football RPF, real madrid
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 12:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/griners/pseuds/griners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Real Madrid gang goes on facebook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real Madrid On Facebook

**Author's Note:**

> I. HAVE. NO. IDEA.

_Iker Casillas posted a new photo_

**_Selfie ;)_ **

_Comments_

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** hey look it’s another selfie

**Sergio Ramos:** surprise surprise

**Iker Casillas:** fuck off guys

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** u love us really

**Sergio Ramos:** he loves me more

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** no he doesn’t shut up

**Iker Casillas:** how about you both shut up you’re filling my notifications

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano:** iker

**Cristiano** : r those enough notifications

**Iker** **Casillas** : isn’t kaka there why are you bothering me

**Sergio Ramos** : uhm what?

**Sergio** **Ramos** : is kaka there cris

**Sergio** **Ramos** : cris

**Sergio Ramos** : CRIS

\--

_Xabi Alonso shared a link_

**Kings Of Lion- Sex On Fire**

**_Cool song..._ **

_Comments_

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** isn’t that stevie’s favorite song

_Sergio Ramos, Pepe Reina and 27 other people liked this_

**Pepe Reina:** well yes... yes it is ;)

_Xabi Alonso has logged off_

\--

_Sergio Ramos updated his status_

**_Date with torres tonight :)_ **

_Comments_

**Fernando Torres:** it’s not a date sHUT UP

**Iker Casillas:** sure nando sure

\--

_Fabio Coentrao updated his status_

**OH GOD MY EYES**

_Comments_

**Cristiano** **Ronaldo** : FABIO

**Fabio** **Coentrao** : dafuck u doing on the computer already?!?!?!?

**Cristiano** **Ronaldo** : WELL ITS NOT LIKE I COULD KEEP GOING AFTER THAT

**Fabio Coentrao** : I’M SORRY OK

**Cristiano Ronaldo** : WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING ON MY BACKYARD

**Fabio Coentrao** : I WAS JUST GRABBING SOME TOMATOS DUDE U DIDN’T ANSWER THE DOOR

**Cristiano Ronaldo** : U WANNA GUESS WHY U DUMBASS

**Fabio Coentrao** : jfc cris I already said I was sorry

**Karim Benzema** : guys what is happening at this moment

**Fabio Coentrao** : I walked in on cris and irina doing it

_15 people liked this_

**Cristiano Ronaldo** : FABIO

**Karim Benzema** : doing what

**Fabio Coentrao** : doing *it*

**Cristiano Ronaldo** : heading over there to kill u

_Cristiano Ronaldo has logged off_

**Fabio Coentrao** : sHIT

_Fabio Coentrao has logged off_

**Karim Benzema** : doing what guys

\--

_47 MINUTES AGO_

_Karim Benzema updated his status_

**Can any of you drive me to practice tomorrow?**

_Comments_

**Karim Benzema:** jeez thanks guys

\--

_Alvaro Arbeloa likes Twitter_

_Comments_

**Xabi Alonso:** smh

**Xabi Alonso:** more like loves

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** since when do u know slang????

**Xabi Alonso:** why shouldn’t I?                  

**Alvaro** **Arbeloa** : bcz u and iker r grammar nazzis???

**Iker Casillas** : why do you guys always get me involved

**Xabi Alonso** : it’d be cooler if u said: y do u guyz always get me invol??

**Alvaro Arbeloa** : WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOU

**Alvaro Arbeloa** : XABI ALONSO HAS LOST HIS MIND

**Xabi Alonso** : tweet about it

\--

_Mesut published something on Sergio’s wall_

**How do you say ‘ring’ in spanish??**

**Sergio Ramos** : anillo :) :)

**Cristiano Ronaldo** : y didnt u ask me????

**Sergio Ramos** : no offence cris but ur spanish isn’t the best

**Segio Ramos** : why u asking nemo?

**Mesut Ozil** : don’t call me nemo

**Mesut Ozil** : me and sami are @ a shop buying the rings and the lady doesn’t understand english

**Gonzalo Higuaín:** you and sami are finally tying the knot :)

**Mesut Ozil:** go away pipita

**Iker Casillas:** you could have asked me but

**Mesut Ozil:** thought you’d be busy making a baby

**Iker Casillas:** MESUT!

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** DUDE!

**Mesut Ozil: @** Iker Casillas get someone pregnant jfc you’ve been drooling over cesc’s kid for two weeks and @Cristiano Ronaldo propose to irina so the world is good and alright again

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** y r u giving me orders???

**Iker Casillas:** I thought I was the captain???

**Mesut Ozil:** Sami’s telling u guys to shut up u should be scared

_Cristiano Ronaldo has logged off_

_Mesut Ozil has logged off_

\--

_Sami Khedira has updated his status_

**_What kind of tux should I buy?_ **

_Comments_

**Marcelo Vieira:** as long as it’s the same color as ur hair

**Sami Khedira:**.|.

\--

_Sergio Ramos has updated his status_

**_I would just like to point out that if we had gone to the final we would have never left a player at the stadium_ **

_93 people liked this_

_Comments_

**Javi Martinez:**???????

\--

_Fabio Coentrao likes slapping Messi_

_Comments_

**Xabi Alonso:** lol I know its awesome

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** ikr

**Pepe:** why is xabi talking like that

**Xabi Alonso:** like wut?

**Pepe:**???????

**Pepe:** like cris tbh

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** oi wut have I done

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** u corrupted xabi

**Xabi Alonso:** i hate u guyz

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** STOP

**Xabi Alonso:** nO

**Fabio Coentrao:** guys take it somewhere else will u

**Fabio Coentrao:** btw xabi where r u we haven’t seen u since thursday where did u even go for vacation

**Xabi Alonso:**... places.

**Pepe Reina:** lol

**Steven Gerrard:** lol

**Alvaro Arbeloa:** omg lOL

**Fabio Coentrao:** ill take that as england then

\--

_Marcelo Vieira likes fries_

_Comments_

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** i knew u liked me

**Marcelo Vieira:**??

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** ive been called a frie b4

**Marcelo Vieira:** do I want to know

**Cristiano:** probably not.

\--

_Javi Martinez has updated his status_

**Idk man everyone’s making fun of me I have no idea why**

_Comments_

**Manuel Neuer:** WE ALREADY APOLOGIZED

**Javi Martinez:** YOU THINK THAT MAKES UP FOR IT

**Manuel Neuer:** to be fair dude it was kinda your fault I mean all you had to do was get on the bus????

**Javi Martinez:** u just lost ur nutella

**Manuel Neuer:** -________-

**Mesut Ozil:** don’t worry the whole nt will buy u a jar

**Manuel Neuer:** ^-^

\--

_Real Madrid CF has updated their status_

**_So how’s everyone’s transfer going?_ **

_Comments_

**Fabio Coentrao:** well apparently im going to tottenham

**Iker Casillas:** arsenal or barça marca hasn’t decided yet

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** I miss rooney so back to the mancs

**Kaka:** benz I need ur help they say im going to psg

**Xabi Alonso:** well I always said I wanted to go back to Liverpool but Chelsea it is

**Pepe:** don’t know yet but im obvs going

**Gonzalo Higuain:** adios bitcheeeeeeeeees

**Real Madrid CF:** I’m going to Barça :)

_67 people liked this_

**Fabio Coentrao:** Real Madrid leaves Real Madrid ~~

\--

_Iker Casillas updated his status_

**_I love all of you :) You make my life better each day :D_ **

_106 people liked this_

**Lukas Modric:** aww :3

**Diego Lopez:** aw :)

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** I LOVE YOU TOO IKEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

**Sergio Ramos:** we had a crying moment I’d kill u if u didn’t love me

**Karim Benzema:** je t’aime

**Varane:** they didn’t get it

**Michael Essien:** they’re not *that* dumb

**Di Maria:** lots of love from me and pipita

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** gracias bonita

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** sorry couldnt resist

**Pepe:** how about we just say IKER WE ALL LOVE U

**Cristiano Ronaldo:** IKER WE LOVE YOU

**Sergio Ramos** : IKER WE LOVE YOU

**Alvaro Morata** : IKER WE LOVE YOU

**Raul Albiol:** IKER WE LOVE YOU

**Marcelo Vieira:** WE LUUUUUUV U

**Iker Casillas** : is this a bad time to tell you my brother posted that status

**José Mourinho:** I have a team of ten year olds

**José Mourinho:** PORQUE

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The German National Team on Facebook](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2038971) by [youllneverwalcologne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youllneverwalcologne/pseuds/youllneverwalcologne)




End file.
